#1. You think online dating is romantic
You’re swiping right or left through profiles when you come across someone who is “ideal.” He’s only a ten-minute drive away. He’s a doctor who makes $150K a year and has a nice small puppy (you love pets).
Wow, this guy is PERFECT! you think to yourself. So you summon the guts to send him your first message, and guess what?
He is deafeningly silent. You’ve had your heart broken.
You say that online dating is a waste of time. It’s not working, and you’re not getting any responses from the guys you like.
You say that online dating is a waste of time. It’s not working, and you’re not getting any responses from the guys you like.
What happened here is that you mistakenly believed that online dating was romantic, but it isn’t. While meeting someone in person and developing a genuine connection is romantic, online dating is really a tool.
You’re meant to treat each profile as if it were an opportunity.
You rapidly decide whether or not to message them and then move on.
Don’t be seduced by profiles, photos, or texts. Before you’ve even gone on a genuine date, this is how you get upset, heartbroken, and rejected. Falling in love is something you should save for genuine people.
#2. Your profile and photos need work
This was covered in 10 reasons why you’re terrible at dating, but it’s still true. Your profile and photographs are the first impression you make in the dating world, and they should be nice.
Here are some tips on how to discover decent photos (#10), and here is some information on how to write a nice profile.
#3. You’re stuck in your ways
You’ve tried Bumble before and it “didn’t work.” You’ve tried internet dating for years with no success.
Have you ever considered that the reason something isn’t functioning is that you’re missing a piece of the puzzle?
Online dating, you see, is extremely emotionally exhausting. You waste a lot of time texting, swiping, and reading profiles just to come up empty-handed.
It’s draining!
Don’t worry if this describes you; 99.9% of people approach online dating in this manner. I’m here to tell you that those individuals are incorrect.
Online dating is really a means to an end, similar to looking for work.
Nobody enjoys preparing resumes, cover letters, or conducting interviews.
However, everyone understands that they must do this in order to find work, so they persevere.
And, just as with finding a job, there are steps you can take to improve your chances of success.
You wouldn’t complain or put weaknesses on a resume would you? Yet I’ve seen countless of online dating profiles that scream”do not date me!”
I’ve seen opening messages or responses to icebreakers that scream “I am bitter and totally over this dating thing, ask me on a date now or peace out.”
If your dating profile or message style shows that you’re bitter and “over it” then you’re on a one way path to staying on those sites forever.
Your tone and attitude towards online dating needs to be positive and fun.
You become a sponge willing to absorb knowledge once you understand that there is an alternative method to approach online dating.
You will be much more effective if you approach this with an open mind and apply new ways of thinking to your process.
#4. You’re on the wrong dating sites/apps
Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to dating sites and apps, but I’ve compiled a list of the top dating apps for women below.
If you’re on niche applications and reside in a small town, you’re not going to receive a lot of results, so weigh your alternatives and choose the one that best suits your needs.
In my “How to Make Online Dating Easier” training video, which you can get for free by clicking here, I go into a little more detail on how to research a good dating site or app.
#5. You’re Seeing Men Who Are Not High-Quality
Many of my customers and personal friends are stuck in casual relationships with men who don’t want to take things further.
Women fall into this trap because they haven’t learnt how to separate the players from the boyfriend material.
I’ve taught myself to be self-controlling and to recognize signs that indicate whether or not a man wants to take things seriously.
A relationship-minded man will act like a boyfriend, which is the most important and practical piece of advice here.
He’ll go out on real dates with you, text you, and do “relationship” stuff like meet your friends.
#6. Your communication style is boring
Okay, I realize this is a harsh statement, but it is the most difficult skill to learn when it comes to online dating!
“Hey, lovely profile, what are you up to this weekend?” is a good way to start a discussion.
You’ll almost certainly receive a large, empty inbox!
When it comes to internet dating, the competition is tough! Men and women can be found in almost every location. You must distinguish yourself from the crowd.
Many women on dating sites receive a lot of incoming messages from men, but this tip still applies since you need to be engaging and witty to keep the conversation continuing even if you’re getting a lot of first messages.
#7. Whatever You Do, Don’t Settle
My clients come to me with a laundry list of qualities they are looking for in a partner.
They’re looking for someone who makes $150k a year, enjoys traveling, is fit, holds similar political views, has high-quality images, decent fashion sense, has no tattoos, lives within 20 miles, and so on.
The list above is typical of many of my clients, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
However, you must make certain that your checklist is prioritized in order of significance.
As a result, items like this should be at the top of the priority list:
-Loves me for who I am
-Supports my goals
-Makes me laugh when I’m feeling upset
-Doesn’t yell when he gets angry
Conclusion
At the end of the day, online dating is the most efficient way to meet someone special.
In fact, if you’re looking for a relationship, most people expect you to be online. Walking up to a man or woman at the gym, the grocery store, or even a club is no longer considered acceptable.
As a result, you’ll need to redefine your thinking and online dating strategy if you want to stay in the game for a bit longer.
If you stop dating online, your chances of meeting someone amazing have dramatically decreased.