Five Ways to Enjoy Online Dating While Improving Your Chances

I hear a lot of concerns about how difficult it is to locate a partner as a clinical psychologist in the Washington, D.C., area who typically works with busy young professionals. Many of my customers believe that the greatest place to meet individuals is on their phones or the Internet, which is not unexpected given that 18 percent of American adults have used an online dating app or website. However, they are constantly disappointed, frustrated, and pessimistic about the process. Even after months or years of searching, just a few people have found significant others online.

That conclusion is supported by research. According to a Pew Research Center study of online daters done in 2013, one-third never met anyone in person and three-quarters never formed a relationship. According to other data, nearly half of dating app messages are never returned, and only 1.4 percent of app chats result in a phone number exchange. So you’re not alone: only a small percentage of app discussions end in a face-to-face meeting.

How can you increase your chances of finding a spouse on the internet without being burnt out? Based on psychological science and my therapeutic work, here are some ways that might help:

Figure out your motives for online dating and be honest about them

This may seem self-evident: after all, aren’t we all utilizing online dating to find love, or at the very least a hookup? The solution, it turns out, is a lot more convoluted. According to studies, people use dating apps to get away from loneliness, worry, or boredom. Others use them for fun, socializing, boosting their self-esteem, being trendy, and having a good time. Some folks are simply inquisitive as to who else is out there.

What motivates you to use online dating? Are you want to escape negative emotions, have some fun, or meet a serious partner? The aim of this clarification is to be honest with yourself, not to judge yourself.

It’s also crucial to be truthful with others. You may be concerned that disclosing your genuine goals may narrow your pool of prospective matches or cause you to stand out among other online daters. However, hiding your ambitions is likely to leave you with unfulfilled demands, growing misconceptions, and a lack of motivation to keep trying.

Be yourself

It’s understandable to want to present yourself in the best light possible. However, if you begin to hide characteristics and interests that you are afraid will be seen poorly, you are jeopardizing your chances of finding love online. The goal isn’t to acquire the most matches; rather, it’s to attract people who will complement the real you. And your educated opinion as to what other individuals might find (un)attractive is just that: an educated guess.
For example, research suggests that emphasizing uncommon or odd interests leads to increased online dating success – proving that attempting to be like everyone else isn’t a good idea. And, contrary to popular opinion, highly educated women are not “penalized” on Tinder, according to a new study.

Limit time spent on apps and the number of people you correspond with at any given time

It’s vital to remember that online dating is supposed to be addictive: the longer matchmaking sites can keep you clicking, the more money they can make from advertising or signing you up for special memberships or additional features. You may swipe frequently or spend hours searching through profiles due to the services’ simplicity of use, endless stream of profiles, and intermittent reward in the shape of a mutual match or a message. However, having more options isn’t always a good thing.

If you are not getting enough good matches, relax your criteria and initiate contact

According to research, both men and women online chase people who are more attractive than they are. Online daters who are attractive and wealthy are picked and contacted at a considerably higher rate than others.

Meet online matches in person as soon as possible

The two most prevalent complaints I get from online daters are dissatisfaction with how infrequently they meet someone in person and even less frequently they like the persons they meet. According to studies, interest waned after the initial face-to-face interaction. This is especially true if the conversation takes place over a period of more than three weeks. According to Eastwick, we are lousy at predicting who we will like in person, and a protracted time of texting builds up unrealistic, idealized expectations.

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