10 Women Opinion on What’s your idea of the perfect first message on a dating app?
We asked actual girls what they’d like to see on Tinder, Bumble, and other dating apps where your first sentence with a potential match pretty much seals your fate.
The first step is to download a dating app. It’s not easy to choose the photos that best represent you (or the ones you want to present to hundreds of single women). It’s also difficult to methodically build a bio that’s both educational and amusing.
But the most difficult of all? Coming up with that first wonderfully clever message as soon as you’ve found someone decent to date. Making a memorable first impression seems nearly impossible these days, now that women have seen and heard it all on dating apps.
So we enlisted the help of 20 genuine women to provide the perfect one-liners, queries, and messages they wish guys would send on dating apps or websites. Oh, and ‘Hey, what’s up?’ isn’t going to cut it. However, cheese references are possible. (We don’t understand either.)
Here’s what they said:
“I appreciate it when a guy wants to get off the app as soon as possible and says something like, ‘Hey, I’d like to get to know you.’ ‘Send me a text (insert number) if you’re down. Cara J., Cara J.
“Use something I have on my profile as a starting point. Personally, I’m a cheese aficionado. ‘Saw you’re a cheesehead,’ for example, would be an excellent first message. I’ve been wanting to try this Italian restaurant that serves four-cheese gnocchi and combines wine with a half-dozen local cheeses. Interested?’ Yes of course. Because A) who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? And B) you made an effort to stand out. Even if we start talking and I discover out you’re a jerk and cancel the date, you’ve vastly improved your chances over the guy who texted “Hey.” Victoria G. says.
“Something relatable that has something to do with my profile or photo. Because of a snapshot I had, a person said to me, “I’ve gone skydiving before, but how fantastic was jumping in New Zealand?” I believe that sharing common interests is the simplest way to connect with someone.” Rae P. is a writer who lives in the United States.
“‘Ready, set, go—the top three things you can’t live without.’ Disarm me, make me uncomfortable (without being scary), and be unique. I’ll be much more willing to join in. And this demonstrates that you do, in fact, have a personality…at least a semblance of one.” Anne S. –
“I genuinely don’t mind if people say, ‘Hey!’ ‘How are things going?’ It’s more confident and mature than ‘What’s up?’” Sasha B. is a writer who lives in New York City.
“Bring up something from my bio or one of my photos that you find interesting. ‘Hey, what kind of race were you in?’ is a perfect example. I, too, am a fitness fanatic.’ It demonstrates that you are interested in learning more about me (rare among dudes). Keep in mind that the conversation should not be one-sided. We also get to avoid the small talk and jump right into the discussion.” Marie L.
“As a first message, I’ve actually obtained humorous memes. The one that got me laugh the hardest was a cartoon with pounding heart eyes, implying that he felt I was attractive but not in a creepy way. It’s just a more effective icebreaker than ‘Hey.'” Samantha M. –
“Begin with something like, ‘I’m completely engrossed in your profile and hobbies.’ What were your plans for your trip?’ … alternatively, ‘Have you lived in San Francisco for a long time?’ Bits and portions of my profile should be targeted. I chose to draw attention to them for a reason! ” Caitlin D.
“A simple ‘Hey, how’s your day going?’ is one of my favorites. Ultimatums like ‘Coffee or sleep?’ or ‘You’re stunning.’ irritate and frighten me.’ Amy S.
“Ask a question that has something to do with my profile. It demonstrates that you spent time crafting a response rather than sending a generic “Hey, what’s up?” to every girl on the app. Make a connection to a concert you recently attended if one of my images is of me at a performance.” – Caroline T.