Quit Online dating and find your soul mate

The main reason I deleted my dating apps was that I didn’t get enough value for my money. My talks rarely moved beyond the texting stage, whether it was because we didn’t have much in common or because we weren’t willing to put forth much effort. Second dates were uncommon, and third dates were nearly unheard of when they did happen. Just thinking about another date filled with small conversation and trying to put my best foot forward made me feel weary.

Being a quitter, on the other hand, paid off. While it may not be the best option for you, here are a few things I learnt during my “break” that turned into a full-fledged rejection of dating apps:

Meeting people in real life is very possible

“Yes, anything is possible—but it sure ain’t likely,” I would have said a year ago if you had told me this. It feels like internet is the only way to meet someone in a world where two prospective matches could be in the same bar and not notice each other because they’re both swiping around on Tinder. However, many had relationships before dating apps existed, and many continue to do so now. It took a while, but as I spent less time scouring dating apps for potential matches, I had more time for parties, chance encounters, and other opportunities to meet people. While on vacation in Ibiza with a girlfriend, I met my partner in a nightclub.

It’s easy to become addicted to online dating

I actually had to stop my hands from entering the “o” into my browser when I wanted a work break after I chose to quit using OKCupid (OK, I slipped up a few times). I checked it obsessively, as I did Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and email, in the hopes of receiving some interesting notification on the site. However, this was not always the case. I also found that I was swiping constantly on Tinder to see who my “super likes” were, frequently without even reading profiles. I wasn’t even texting the folks I matched with—all I wanted was the ego boost of being matched with someone.

Dating sites can be really stressful

Phone addiction promotes melancholy and anxiety, according to a recent study published in Computers in Human Behavior, and online dating addiction, in my experience, has the same impacts. When you rely on something for self-esteem or excitement, you’ll be unhappy if you don’t get it, and you’ll turn away from other kinds of happiness. I realized I felt a sensation of dread as the homepage loaded when I broke my hiatus and went on OKCupid because I linked the site with disappointment and rejection. I hadn’t recognized these sentiments earlier since they were drowned out by the prospect of receiving that one-of-a-kind wonderful message.

Those swipes can seriously affect your self-esteem

With fewer opportunities to obtain affirmation of my attractiveness, I began to believe my appearance had deteriorated (at the tender age of 25, I know). Of course, because nothing about me had changed, this line of reasoning was illogical. It was pleasant to not have people continually analyzing how beautiful my images looked once I got over that hump, and I believe it made me less worried with my appearance.

Being single for a while isn’t a big deal

I was becoming scared while I was online dating since I’d been unmarried for two years—as if it was a long time. I was perplexed as to what was wrong with me that made my dating endeavors a failure. But, after dating was no longer such a large part of my life and I wasn’t practically surrounded by individuals looking for a spouse, I realized that a few years wasn’t such a long period. It just felt long because I wasn’t used to being alone—and I wasn’t used to being alone because I hadn’t allowed myself to be. I tried to date people even while I wasn’t dating anyone.

It doesn’t have to be a nightmare when it comes to dating

I became jaded after dating for two years and not seeing anything work out. I dreaded going on dates, thinking that each one would be another couple of hours of my life I’d be squandering. That mindset had turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I started going in thinking, “Once I get over my burnout, I’ll go in thinking, ” “This guy has the potential to be someone I like. Even if I don’t, I’ll enjoy a pleasant walk/drink/meal.” It’s surprising how much better something may seem when you trust everything will work out. And sometimes all you need is a break to reset your thinking.