In this digital dating world, online connections are becoming increasingly important. In fact, recent research shows that millennials are now more likely to find love online than in a bar. While this may seem like good news for the shy guys out there, it’s not so straightforward. To begin with, those same millennial trends have resulted in fewer people going out and meeting new people.
Consequently, dating apps like Tinder have become insanely popular. But for men who aren’t quite ready to give up on their local pub yet (or simply don’t have the confidence to walk up to a stranger in one), using these apps can feel like an awkward compromise.
But just because things might feel a little strange at first doesn’t mean that they can’t be great again soon after. To help you get started on your own love journey in the digital age here are 10 tips for using Facebook Dating without looking desperate:
1. Be Clear About What You’re Looking For
The first step to success on any dating app is to be clear about what you’re looking for. If you’re just interested in getting more dates, then you’re going to have to choose people who aren’t necessarily looking for something serious.
On the other hand, if you’re looking for your soulmate, well, you’d better be ready for one serious dry spell. It’s also important to remember that today’s online dating landscape is a lot wider than it was even just a few years ago. Apps like Tinder and Bumble used to be the only game in town. Now, though, you’ve got options.
2. Don’t Talk About Yourself for Too Long
Nobody likes listening to someone go on and on about themselves for too long. In fact, research shows that a first date should last no longer than 90 minutes. So in a digital environment where you’ve got to make an impression in a much shorter space of time, it’s even more important to keep things shorter.
If you overdo it on the self-talk, you’re going to scare potential dates off. And the longer you go on for, the more uncomfortable it’s going to make your date feel. So think of it like a first date — keep the conversation interesting and moving along.
3. Don’t Send One-Word Responses
In this digital world, we seem to be sending fewer and fewer actual emails. Instead, we’ve turned to apps like WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger to keep in touch with people. And while these apps are a great way to stay in contact with your friends, they’re even better for meeting new people.
But if you’re going to use these apps to connect with people, you have to remember not to send one-word responses. Remember that you’re talking to real people — not machines. So, don’t just send a “yes,” “sure,” or “cool” to a potential date. Instead, take a few seconds to send a more personal response.
4. Don’t Use Emoji — Ever
We’ve all seen the internet posts from people who use emoji in everything they write. That’s why it’s important to remember that for someone who doesn’t know you, seeing you send a message that’s full of these cute, little symbols will make you seem like a bit of a weirdo. It’s generally accepted that when you’re online dating, you should avoid emoji altogether.
After all, how are you supposed to know how someone is feeling when they send you a thumbs-up emoji? What if they’re sending it ironically? What if they have a disability that prevents them from using their hands? There are just too many confusing things about emoji when it comes to dating apps.
5. Take a Break Every Now and Then
If you’re really keen on getting more dates on dating apps, it’s easy to go overboard. In fact, your dates might start to feel like you’re stalking them. To avoid that, it’s a good idea to take a break once every couple of weeks.
Your dates will appreciate it and you’ll have time to catch up on all of the things you’ve been meaning to do. Plus, you’ll be able to rest up and build up your dating confidence again before you go on the next date.
6. Have a Solid Profile Photo
It’s easy to forget about the importance of your profile photo when you’ve got so many other things to think about. But it’s important to remember that your photo will be the first thing that your potential dates see.
In fact, research shows that people decide whether or not they’re going to date someone in as few as 90 seconds. So if you want to avoid being ignored, it’s important to have a solid photo. Your photo doesn’t have to be fancy — just make sure that you look nice and approachable.
And try to avoid including silly things in your photos, like your pet or a crazy party. It’s easy to get carried away with your silly side, but it can really hurt your chances.
7. Don’t be afraid to show off your sense of humour
There are lots of studies that show that women are much more likely to respond to men who show off their sense of humour. But that doesn’t mean you have to be a stand-up comedian or use your wit to create corny puns.
Instead, just use your natural wit to respond to the things that your date says. And if you don’t feel like you have any wit at all, don’t worry. Everyone has the ability to be funny — you just need to tap into it.
8. Don’t be afraid to walk away
Even if you’ve done everything right, there’s always a chance that your date might not be feeling it. In fact, most people are only interested in dating about 25% of the people they meet.
So if your date seems off, don’t feel bad about walking away. Remember that dating app relationships aren’t like real-life relationships — you don’t owe anyone anything.
9. Find out what matters most for your potential dates
You might be the dream guy in terms of your wit and humour. But if you’re not their physical type, you might never get your chance. To avoid this, find out what matters most to your potential dates. What kind of person are they usually attracted to? What kind of personality do they like in their dates?
And, if you’ve got enough time, what are their dating goals? Knowing these things can help you to make a better impression on your dates — and make it more likely that they’ll be interested in you.
10. Don’t Ask for a Relationship Right Away
If you’ve got your eye on a particular person and you want to take things to the next level, it’s tempting to ask them out as soon as you can. However, it’s important not to be too forward. Instead, try to enjoy a few dates with different people before you settle down with someone.
Don’t be afraid to slow things down a little and wait for the right person. Although online dating is a quick and easy way to meet people, don’t be impatient and rush things. Remember that finding love can take time — so be patient and enjoy the journey.
There are lots of great reasons to try online dating. You can choose the site you want to use based on your own personal preferences. You can search for people who are interested in the same things as you and from anywhere in the world. You can decide how much information you want to share.
You can decide how often you want to log in and what you want to do when you’re logged in. And you may have better luck than if you meet people in other ways because you can present yourself however you want.
That being said, online dating can also be a challenging experience. You don’t have any real idea of who you’re talking to. Some people may misrepresent themselves. You may get unwanted or spam messages. But if you stay aware of the challenges and take proper precautions, you can enjoy