How to Make Friends as an Adult

Making friends as an adult can seem like a daunting task, but it’s not impossible! Gone are the days of meeting people in school or through shared hobbies, but there are still plenty of ways to form meaningful connections with others. Whether you’re new to an area or just looking to expand your social circle, here are some tips on how to make friends as an adult that actually work. So put yourself out there, be open to new experiences, and get ready to make some lasting friendships!

Why can’t I make friends?

There could be a variety of reasons why someone might be having trouble making friends. It could be due to shyness, social anxiety, a lack of common interests with others, a busy schedule that doesn’t allow for socializing, or even just not putting oneself out there enough. 

Additionally, past experiences or trauma could also impact someone’s ability to form close relationships with others. However, it’s important to remember that making friends takes time and effort, and it’s okay to take small steps towards building relationships with others. 

It’s important to identify the root cause of the difficulty in order to address it and work towards making new connections. Remember, making friends is a skill that can be learned and improved upon, and it’s never too late to start!

Things to Look Out For When Making New Friends

Making new friends can be an exciting and fulfilling experience, but it’s important to be mindful of certain things when forming new relationships with others. Here are some things to look out for when making new friends:

  1. Shared values and interests: Look for people who share similar values and interests as you. This will help ensure that you have things in common to talk about and bond over.
  2. Trustworthiness: It’s important to build relationships with people who you can trust and who have your best interests at heart. Be mindful of red flags such as gossiping, lying, or making you feel uncomfortable.
  3. Positive energy: Surround yourself with people who exude positive energy and who make you feel good about yourself. Avoid people who constantly bring negativity or drama into your life.
  4. Communication: Good communication is key to any healthy relationship. Look for people who are willing to listen and who communicate openly and honestly with you.
  5. Consistency: A true friend is someone who shows up for you consistently, not just when it’s convenient for them. Look for people who make an effort to stay in touch and who are reliable.
  6. Respect: Respect is a crucial component of any healthy relationship. Look for friends who respect your boundaries, opinions, and decisions, and who treat you with kindness and empathy.

How to Start a Friendship

Starting a friendship can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some tips on how to start a friendship:

  1. Strike up a conversation: Starting a conversation with someone is often the first step to building a friendship. Look for common ground to talk about, such as a shared interest or something happening in your environment.
  2. Be friendly and approachable: Smile, make eye contact, and be open to meeting new people. This will help make you approachable and will encourage others to strike up a conversation with you.
  3. Be a good listener: Listening is an important part of any relationship, including friendships. When you’re talking to someone new, actively listen to what they’re saying and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
  4. Find opportunities to hang out: If you hit it off with someone, suggest hanging out together. This could be as simple as grabbing a coffee or attending an event together.
  5. Be yourself: Authenticity is key to building genuine friendships. Don’t try to be someone you’re not in order to impress someone else. Instead, be true to yourself and let your personality shine through.
  6. Follow up: If you’ve met someone you’d like to be friends with, don’t be afraid to follow up with them. Send them a message, ask them to hang out, or invite them to a social gathering.

What Not to Do

When starting a friendship, it’s important to be mindful of the things that can hinder the process. Here are some things to avoid:

  1. Don’t be too pushy: While it’s important to show interest in someone, don’t be too pushy or come on too strong. Respect their boundaries and give them space if they need it.
  2. Don’t talk only about yourself: Remember that friendships are a two-way street. Don’t monopolize the conversation by only talking about yourself. Instead, show interest in the other person and ask them questions about their life.
  3. Don’t be judgmental: Everyone has their own beliefs, values, and opinions. Avoid being judgmental or critical of others. Instead, try to understand where they’re coming from and be open to different perspectives.
  4. Don’t be flaky: If you make plans with someone, follow through with them. Being flaky or canceling plans last minute can make the other person feel unimportant or undervalued.
  5. Don’t gossip: Gossiping can be hurtful and damaging to relationships. Avoid talking negatively about others and instead focus on building a positive and supportive friendship.
  6. Don’t force it: Not every interaction will lead to a friendship, and that’s okay. Don’t force a relationship if it doesn’t feel natural or genuine. Instead, focus on building connections with others who share similar values and interests.

How to Know When You’re Friends

Knowing when you’ve transitioned from acquaintances to friends can be a bit tricky, but there are a few signs to look out for:

  1. Regular communication: When you start communicating with someone on a regular basis, whether it’s through texting, social media, or in person, it’s a good indication that you’re becoming friends.
  2. Shared activities: If you’re regularly doing things together, such as attending events, going out to eat, or doing activities you both enjoy, it’s a sign that you’re forming a bond.
  3. Emotional support: Friends are there for each other during good times and bad. If you find yourself turning to this person for emotional support or vice versa, it’s a good indication that your relationship has evolved into a friendship.
  4. Shared vulnerability: Being vulnerable with someone is a sign of trust and intimacy. If you find yourself opening up to this person or they open up to you, it’s a sign that your relationship is becoming more than just a casual acquaintance.
  5. Sense of humor: Laughter is often a sign of a good friendship. If you find yourself laughing and enjoying each other’s company, it’s a good indication that your relationship has transitioned from a more formal acquaintance to a genuine friendship.

Remember, the transition from acquaintances to friends is not always straightforward and can take time. However, if you’re communicating regularly, participating in shared activities, offering emotional support, sharing vulnerabilities, and enjoying each other’s company, you’re likely on the path to forming a strong and fulfilling friendship.


In conclusion, knowing when you’ve become friends with someone can be a bit tricky, but there are some clear signs to look out for. Regular communication, shared activities, emotional support, shared vulnerability, and a sense of humor are all indications that your relationship has evolved into a genuine friendship. Remember that building friendships takes time and effort, and it’s important to be patient and allow the relationship to develop naturally. By being open, honest, and authentic, you can form strong and meaningful friendships that will last a lifetime.

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