Why Dating Apps Are So Addictive

Have you ever pondered why you can’t seem to get rid of your dating app addiction? Or why do you keep returning even after meeting someone you like?

I’ll explain why. User addiction is embedded into the commercial model of dating apps, just like it is for major social media platforms.

How exciting is it to get a like, a match, or a note? It’s not even necessary to know who liked or commented on your post. It’s the same. Someone enjoys my company!

As a result, I MUST be…deserving, deserving, handsome, smart, intelligent, funny, cute, a winner, successful, a wonderful photographer, and an epic prompt filler outer. Right? That other individual had to have gone over my entire profile, which I had painstakingly built. They must have made a thoroughly considered conclusion about why they see relationship potential in me based on all of that “intricate” detail.

Now, it doesn’t matter what your intentions were. What it means is that when your dating app pings you with some type of digital engagement, you feel an enticing lightning bolt of arousal and excitement.

The addictive stickiness is a result of the physiological cascade of neurotransmitters that are triggered when the dating app reaches out unexpectedly and touches our consciousness. It’s not just affirmation and all the stories we make up about why someone “chooses” us.

Is it possible to get a digital dose of social crack?

Okay, that’s alright. Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. After a sleepless, multi-day journey that left you broke and bruised, you’re hardly going to wake yourself bleary-eyed and dizzy in a crack den. However, it isn’t all that dissimilar.

Have you ever been at a work meeting and felt compelled to respond to that sexy love interest before their attention shifts to something else? You’ll know you’re “on the clock” if you’ve done this enough times.

Without a doubt, dating apps take you away from your current duties so you can frolic in their wonderful digital dating fantasyland, where the photographs are retouched and character flaws are well covered.

How many conversations do you have going on at once? Maybe two or three isn’t such a huge deal. However, keeping five or more connections engaged and interested places a significant emotional and cognitive drain on an already stretched attention span. You can easily become emotionally tired and exhausted if you aren’t being shallow and superficial (which appears to work primarily on Tinder).

Do you check your applications first thing in the morning before going to the bathroom or when you’re going to the bathroom? For a reason, there are just two possibilities.

Yes, I’ve completed the task. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing, to be honest. I may be in a client meeting, on the treadmill, working on a team project live on Zoom, having Christmas dinner with family, mid-therapy session, hastily texting a note as my flight takes off…you get the picture. Nothing is off limits to the drive to swipe.

Why so obsessed?

It’s all part of the nature of dating app notifications and how they affect our minds. Essentially, the Valley’s tech bros (and women) know how to use our physiology.

The brain is a magnificently complex machine that can do incredible things, such as automatically increase circulatory and respiratory capacity in the face of danger, but it is also extremely vulnerable to social technology design and engineering manipulation.

Other disadvantages of dating apps

Without a doubt, dating apps allow me to divert my attention away from the unpleasant reality of the present (as well as prior trauma that I’d rather not think about). Is this a positive thing? I’m not convinced. It could be especially difficult if you’re in treatment and need to concentrate on addressing the flawed thinking that led to your addiction.

However, distraction is only the tip of the iceberg. According to eHarmony, more than half of dating app users misrepresent about themselves on their profiles. I’m not sure why they’d confess it, but I’ll accept it as reality. We’re asking liars to say they’re liars, therefore the figure is likely to be substantially higher.

Authenticity and truth are not the name of the game when it comes to dating apps. Do you recall what I said? It’s all about truth adjacency, blemish filtering, and Houdiniing your flaws. The user “markets” the best version of themselves, which often looks nothing like the person you meet on date one.

As a result, people strive to sift through all the nonsense in order to find someone genuine and genuine. The issue is that astute, manipulative users are aware of this and modify their marketing accordingly. It turns into a tiresome game of deception and seeking to decipher the truthfulness of others’ statements.

With drawbacks like these, it’s surprising how many people in the United States utilize these apps. According to Pew, 48 percent of 18 to 29-year-olds and 38 percent of those 30 to 49-year-olds used a dating site or app. There are a plethora of reasons why it isn’t worth it, but logic is rarely used while making emotional judgments.

However, for individuals in recovery, the stakes are much higher, as I’ll demonstrate in my next chapter when I examine my own dating app decisions. Keep an eye out for updates.