It could be bad strategy rather than bad luck or bad timing if you’re not getting the outcomes you want with online dating. However, this is actually good news since it implies you can take action. Perhaps you’re working hard but not smart, as I was with my diet plan, and all you need to do is make a few little tweaks to make it work. Today, we’ll go over seven reasons why online dating isn’t working for you… and how to change it.
You’re Probably On the Wrong Dating Site
Some people are on the wrong dating site, which is one of the main reasons why online dating doesn’t work for them. Maybe the target demographic is too young or too old, maybe the features aren’t up to par, maybe the site is still new and doesn’t have a large enough membership base. A dating site may be a poor fit for your needs due to a variety of issues.
It’s good to spend some time researching what a dating site has to offer in order to ensure you’re on the proper one. Read reviews submitted by both experts and other singles. Most dating sites provide free trials and/or memberships so you can get a feel for the site before committing.
We’ve been following the dating scene for a while and have discovered the top three dating sites that every dater should visit:
Match.com
The king of dating sites is Match. It has over 30 million monthly visitors and is responsible for more romantic connections than any other dating site. It has been operational since 1995 and has over 30 million visitors. On Match, every single individual can find a matching date or partner, regardless of age, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, geography, or religion.
Elite Singles
It’s all about quality over quantity on Elite Singles. More than 80% of the site’s members have a bachelor’s degree or higher, and 100% of them are looking for a long-term relationship. Elite Singles also has the data to back up its claims: over 165,000 people join the site each month, with 2,500 members falling in love.
Zoosk
Zoosk is a terrific service for busy people who want to date on the go. It was one of the first dating services to interface with social media networks like Facebook and Google+, as well as to provide a simple sign-up process. Zoosk is also a very active dating service, with 40 million users exchanging over 3 million messages per day.
You Haven’t Added Any Photos
You would very certainly not book a hotel room, purchase a home, or adopt a pet without first looking at a photo (or two or three). It shouldn’t be any different when it comes to internet dating. Photos are crucial. If you haven’t uploaded any images of yourself to a dating site, don’t expect anybody to give you the time of day. You appear to be a bot, a con artist, or someone with something to conceal.
Because you can upload many images to every dating site, we recommend having at least one headshot, one full-body shot, and one action shot.
You Are not Searching for Matches On Your Own
You can fill up your profile and then let the site do the work for you with online dating, but you shouldn’t rely on it all of the time. Take matters into your own hands by searching for matches on your own and reviewing the dating site’s recommendations.
Your Parameters Are Too Narrow
OK, I’ll play devil’s advocate here and argue that while you can hunt for matches on your own, you should be cautious about how picky you are with your search parameters. It will be quite difficult to locate someone that checks all of your boxes.
A needle in a haystack, for example, is someone who is 6’1″, has brown hair and hazel eyes, graduated from NYC, wants two children and one dog, loves “Games of Thrones” and despises “Breaking Bad,” lives within 10 miles of you, is culturally Jewish but not traditionally Jewish, enjoys Indian food and despises Mediterranean, and so on. That is, of course, an extreme scenario, but you get the picture.
You Are not Initiating Contact
I’ll admit that sending the initial message isn’t my favorite thing to do because it can be frightening. But you have to do it from time to time, especially if you’re having trouble meeting people on the site or app. While some believe males should initiate and others believe women should, I believe both should. For the love of God, it’s 2018.
Start with the flirting tools on the dating site, such as virtual winks, likes, favorites lists, photo requests, and real-time chat, to ease into texting.
Your Messages Are Too Formulaic
We have plenty of first-message advice to assist you get over the hump, but the most essential thing to remember is to avoid sending the same message to many people. They’ll notice immediately away, and it’s simply not a cool thing to do in general.
You should also keep your first few messages short (we all have short attention spans online) and include anything from the person’s profile to show that you read it. Try to ask a question at the end of the message so that the recipient has something to say when he or she responds.
The Adjustment You Need
Because I’m a stubborn person, I wanted to spend the rest of my life eating fresh, nutritious cuisine without ever stepping on an elliptical machine. But, at least for my body, that isn’t how things work. Just like there are a few moving components to being successful at online dating, there are a few moving parts to getting healthy.
We’ve discovered some of the issues you could be encountering, as well as some potential solutions. You now have complete control over the situation.